Hello everyone đ During the my course of research and professional (and personal) work, I have been very fortunate to meet some amazing, like-minded people who have established organisations to support single parents who are survivors of domestic violence (GBV), have been through wrongful persecution and have had their children taken away from them (or are at a grave risk of losing their children). This is either via the Hague Convention, unjust legal systems (extradition laws) or just corrupt and indifferent legal practitioners and law-enforcement personnel. One website in particular, termed it “domestic terrorism”, which I absolutely resonate with! Here are some of these websites / organisations (I will be adding to it in the future): I hope you find these organisations helpful. If you would like to share any organisations that you are aware of who are highly recommendable, please send me a message so I can add them to my list. Thank you and have a lovely day / night!
Extradition Laws / Treaties & Other Challenges
Hi everyone, today I would like to discuss the challenges parents face when considering crossing international borders with their children (in the hopes of escaping either a psychotic, narcissistic, violent ex-partner, or a horrifyingly unjust legal system). I have had many parents consult with me – some prior, but mostly post-escape – therefore, in the hopes of preventing any regrets afterwards (from a lack of information / knowledge / planning), here are some points to keep in mind: I hope this chapter has been of some help! Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us if you (or anyone you know) need help. We are not your stock-standard NFP NGO, we actually give a hoot about you and your children and we respond to all messages / enquiries (unless they are spam), AND we will always do our best to assist you and your child / children! If we can’t, for whatever reason, then we will refer you to the best people / organisations who can. Thank you for reading đ
Court-Induced Trauma & Mental Health Issues
Today I’d like to cover the topic of mental health – a topic that is perhaps the most crucial of all topics but is the least tackled, especially for single parents going through wrongful persecution when they have already been victims of GBV. As a mental health practitioner (and medical doctor), I feel very strongly about the combined effects of the two: mental health adversely affects physical health and vice versa. And often enough, both are not treated simultaneously. Well, most people (many professionals included) are not aware that the two are not mutually exclusive. So let me begin by discussing the underlying causes of poor mental health (or should I say, the consequences of failed, indifferent, ignorant, corrupt, unjust “justice” systems). Causes: I wrote this chapter of the blog to motivate you to reach out to seek help – don’t be afraid because you are NOT alone. We are here to help you in any way we can, we want to LIFT you up so you can once again find peace and live the life with your children the way you envision – safe and happy đ Please don’t hesitate to send us a message via the “Contact” tab – your details are strictly confidential. We would also greatly appreciate if you could let us know what areas you require assistance in. For example, you might want more information on stress management or positive parenting. We are currently gathering information and interests as we are hoping to run online seminars and courses in the near future so your feedback would be greatly appreciated! Take care and hang in there đ
The Hague Convention
Hello everyone, I hope you are all well. Today, I would like to bring your attention to the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction. Known more commonly as the âHague Conventionâ. I mentioned this in my introduction page, where I shared my story on my own personal experience of GBV, horrific injustice and eventual exile from my native home country of Australia. I felt this was worthy topic on its own to discuss in todayâs post. In summary, the Hague Convention is a multinational treaty that was established by the Hague Conference on Private International Law (HCCH) on 25 October 1980 and entered into force between all signatories on 1 December 1983. Its aim was to address and prevent international child abduction and child trafficking by providing a civil, expeditious method to return a child who was wrongfully removed from their country of habitual residence and / or retained across international borders in a country that is not their country of habitual residence. In order for the Hague Convention to apply, both countries (the one the child was removed from, and the one the child has been brought to) must be Contracting States; i.e. both must be signatories and adoptees of the Hague Convention. For a full, detailed outline of the Hague Convention, go to: https://assets.hcch.net/docs/e6a6a977-40c5-47b2-a380-b4ec3a0041a8.pdf For a comprehensive list of Hague Convention countries, go to: https://www.ag.gov.au/families-and-marriage/families/international-family-law-and-children/hague-convention-civil-aspects-international-child-abduction#:~:text=The%201980%20Hague%20Convention%20on,children%20to%20their%20home%20country. For a detailed list of all 45 Articles of the Hague Convention, go to: https://assets.hcch.net/docs/e86d9f72-dc8d-46f3-b3bf-e102911c8532.pdf It is only in recent years that attention has been brought to light that the legislators of the Hague Convention did not factor in domestic violence / GBV (gender-based violence) as an exemption to this treaty. As a result, perpetrators and unethical / corrupt legal practitioners have been weaponizing the Hague Convention to reunite victims (and their children) with their perpetrators, thereby endangering (and, in many cases, ending) the lives of the parent-survivors / escapees and that of their children [I will discuss this more in my next blog]. For many years, I have lived in fear because of the horrific acts of violence and torture that were perpetrated upon me by my childâs biological father. I turned to law enforcement and the justice system to protect us but both let us down devastatingly. Not only did they let us down, but we experienced corruption, injustice, toxic patriarchy, negligence, indifference as well as a chronic lack of knowledge and empathy by professionals around the topic of GBV and domestic violence. As a result, we were forced to leave our home country for our safety. Just when we thought we were finally safe from the perpetrator (and a corrupt system), we were then faced with injustice on a global scale: The Hague Convention. We had to settle in a non-Hague country and, till this day, this injustice plagues us. Throughout our globe-trotting journey, I was fortunate to meet many other single parent survivors of domestic violence / GBV with circumstances very similar to mine. They, too, had faced unspeakable forms of torture and violence and were abandoned and betrayed by the legal systems in their countries of residences, and forced into exile into non-Hague countries, like myself. As a result, I knew I had to do something about this. I unified all these victims and decided to start LIFT to support them as well as reach out to the countless other victims scattered around the world and speak out against this atrocity, which I term âlegal injusticeâ. Through my research, I would like share several links with you. These are media and academic articles written about the weaponization of the Hague Convention and how this harms domestic violence survivors, women, children and families. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-10-24/hague-convention-traps-domestic-violence-victims/12807342?utm_campaign=abc_news_web&utm_content=link&utm_medium=content_shared&utm_source=abc_news_web By journalist Sarah Thomas, ABC Sydney newsroom. Posted Fri 23 Oct 2020 at 4:34pm, updated Tue 27 Oct 2020 at 12:26am. 2. Being âHaguedâ: How Weaponising the Hague Convention Harms Women Being âHaguedâ: How Weaponising the Hague Convention Harms Women By the Hague Mothers Project, June 13, 2022 (excerpt). The full research paper can be found here: https://research.qut.edu.au/centre-for-justice/wp-content/uploads/sites/304/2022/05/Briefing-Paper-25-Masterton-FINAL.pdf Centre for Justice Briefing Paper (QUT – Queensland University of Technology), May 2022 / Issue No 25. By: Gina Masterton (QUT Centre for Justice), Zoe Rathus (Griffith University Law School), John Flood (Griffith University School of Humanities, Languages and Social Science), and Kieran Tranter (QUT School of Law). 3. Women’s rights and child abductions under the Hague Convention https://doi.org/10.1002/aps.1832 https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/journal/15569187 https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/toc/15569187/2023/20/3 International Journal of Applied Psychoanalytic Studies, first published: 13 September 2023 By: Valentina Shaknes, Justine Stringer and Stephanie Brandt Interestingly, I found these 2 articles written by healthcare and legal professionals targeting trial judges who adjudicate cases pursuant to the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction (Hague Convention), and their legal counterparts. I felt it was relevant, given these professionals highlighted and emphasized the impact of GBV on the victims for the benefit of legal practitioners, who are too often blind or indifferent to the suffering and experiences of victims. Battered Mothers Seeking Safety Across International Borders: Examining Hague Convention Cases involving Allegations of Domestic Violence https://assets.hcch.net/docs/7624595a-b207-464b-b95d-8222e9ce8d56.pdf www.haguedv.org Published in: The Judgesâ Newsletter By: Jeffrey EDLESON, Professor, University of Minnesota School of Social Work, USA. Taryn LINDHORST Associate Professor, University of Washington School of Social Work, USA. 2. You Can and You Should: How Judges Can Apply the Hague Abduction Convention to Protect Victims of Domestic Violence https://escholarship.org/uc/item/0kp5s7s0 UCLA Journal of Gender and Law, 28(1), 2021 By: Merle Weiner I have reached out to many professionals and advocates who see this weaponization of the Hague Convention through the same lens as the women I represent and myself, and I hope that, together, we will be able to stand together to take down this injustice on a global scale. Thank you Dr C
Gratitude
Staying positive and being grateful for the positives in my life! Since my blog was posted, I received numerous responses from my friends and networks thanking me for my honesty in sharing my story. This is the first time Iâve openly shared my story on a public platform. Many were simply shocked and said they thought incidences like mine only happen in the movies! Well, I can tell you that itâs not as entertaining in real life, thatâs for sure⊠So today, I want to say a BIG thank you to all the people in my life â the genuine, sincere, compassionate human beings Iâve been blessed to have met on my âadventureâ. These are the people who have stood by me and my child through our nightmare, our ordeal, and never gave up on us. In showing my gratitude, I want to make sure I acknowledge all these amazing, special gems whom I love and care about dearly and whom I would, without any hesitation, do anything within my power to help should the need ever arise. I wish I could name all these special people, but sadly, because of my circumstances, I canât. However, these special individuals will ALWAYS have a place in my heart. You know who you are! Sometimes when I pause to reflect upon my life (or when my PTSD flares up), I canât help but wonder if those bad / evil events happenned to us to allow me to be able to meet the good people. After all, we can only see the stars shine at night, in darkness, and not during the daylight. Either way, I am very grateful and I look forward to meeting many more wonderful human beings in my current (and future) journey. Thank you đ
Speaking Out – The Truth
Hello everyone, Thank you for your interest. If you are reading this blog, I will assume that either you or someone you care about has experienced domestic violence / gender-based violence and have faced systemic injustice by your countryâs legal system. If this is the case, then I sincerely hope that you will continue reading and join me in putting an end to this unjust suffering and persecution. I am a doctor from a developed, first-world, western country and single mother who has faced many years of unspeakable domestic violence perpetrated by my childâs biological father. After being placed in witness protection and relocated away from everything and everyone we knew, my child and I were then abandoned by the âsystemâ and left to fend for ourselves. For months, my child and I were homeless, living from one AirBnB to another while the âsystemâ that promised to protect us did nothing. Utilising the criminal network ties he and his family had, my ex-partner / perpetrator hired âcontractorsâ to locate us and end our lives and we had to keep running all over our country. At the time, I wanted to do the âright thingâ and fought for justice for my child and myself via my country’s legal system for almost 2 years. I naively believed in my so-called “sophisticated, western judicial system”; that it would protect the vulnerable and victims of domestic violence â us – as they so often brag about on the international stage. However, I could not have been more wrong and disappointed in my life. After 2 years of fighting him in court, my finances were drained, not to mention my mental health, and he used this to his advantage. My ex-partner (and his family members) utilised their criminal ties and bribed state police officers and even a Federal court judge. I reached out to everyone whom I thought could help us â NGOs, GOs, politicians, media etc. but NO ONE cared. I was even told by prominent news and media journalists in the country that they were too afraid to take on my case and tell my story. After 2 years of fighting my perpetrator via the âjustice / legal systemâ, I ran out of money. I was well and truly drained. I had used up my entire retirement savings. My perpetrator had family members to assist him financially but I had nobody â no family, no one. He had isolated me from all my friends during the many years he was abusing and torturing me. Desperate, I reached out to Legal Aid (the government-funded legal assistance office) again and they told me that they could not assist me because I owned assets (my house â which was heavily mortgaged, thanks to legal fees â and my old car) and that I was âtoo educatedâ (and that I should be “grateful” I had a job, unlike the numerous single unemployed mothers who relied on the system for income). Even my lawyer, who initially agreed to a payment plan for her legal fees, suddenly demanded I pay her a sum of approximately $60,000 one business day before our final trial. I asked her why this was the case and she simply replied, âIf you cannot pay this amount, I canât represent you.â It was a Friday. The trial was set for the following Monday. I paid her half the amount which maxed out my mortgage, but had no way of obtaining the other half. I pleaded with her to allow me to pay the remainder in instalments, as we previously agreed. She refused. As a result, my lawyer did not hesitate to cease representing me that Friday afternoon, leaving me no alternative legal representation at the last minute. Furthermore, the corrupt Federal Court judge (whom I only recently discovered is a cocaine addict â which explains his link to my perpetratorâs criminal network) overseeing my case at the time displayed his bias and discrimination towards me in several ways: As a result of all these factors, I could not attend court that Monday and, as I later discovered, this particular Federal Court judge issued a warrant for my arrest for not attending court. And, conveniently, immediately after this was done, I received notification from the state police that they had closed their entire investigation against my perpetrator. This was after 2 years â I had provided many years worth of statements detailing all the abuse and crimes perpetrated by my ex-partner to the police (to the detriment of my mental health and the exacerbation of my PTSD â having to relive all the horrors of torture at the hands of my perpetrator) but they never did anything. Throughout the 2 years, they kept constantly delaying the investigation, giving me excuses like there was always another case that “took priority” over mine. I brought my concerns all the way up to the state police commissioner but this eventually came back to the same corrupt officers and my case went nowhere. By this stage, my child and I had no choice but to flee our home country. We have been living in exile since and have sought refuge in several countries, and have been moving around the world. It has been many years and we are still running and struggling to find safety, peace and justice. Thanks to the Hague Convention against child sex trafficking, that blatantly discriminates against parents escaping with their children from domestic violence, we have had to ensure we do not settle in a Hague-country or risk being sent back to our native / home country and have our lives terminated (as have numerous other women / single mothers / victims of domestic violence who have been victims of the weaponisation of the Hague Convention). I have lived with this injustice for many years and enough is enough. Throughout my journey, I have met many other single parents who are in similar circumstances and it has become clear to me that this systemic