Hello everyone,
Thank you for your interest. If you are reading this blog, I will assume that either you or someone you care about has experienced domestic violence / gender-based violence and have faced systemic injustice by your country’s legal system. If this is the case, then I sincerely hope that you will continue reading and join me in putting an end to this unjust suffering and persecution.
I am a doctor from a developed, first-world, western country and single mother who has faced many years of unspeakable domestic violence perpetrated by my child’s biological father. After being placed in witness protection and relocated away from everything and everyone we knew, my child and I were then abandoned by the “system” and left to fend for ourselves. For months, my child and I were homeless, living from one AirBnB to another while the “system” that promised to protect us did nothing. Utilising the criminal network ties he and his family had, my ex-partner / perpetrator hired “contractors” to locate us and end our lives and we had to keep running all over our country.
At the time, I wanted to do the “right thing” and fought for justice for my child and myself via my country’s legal system for almost 2 years. I naively believed in my so-called “sophisticated, western judicial system”; that it would protect the vulnerable and victims of domestic violence – us – as they so often brag about on the international stage. However, I could not have been more wrong and disappointed in my life. After 2 years of fighting him in court, my finances were drained, not to mention my mental health, and he used this to his advantage. My ex-partner (and his family members) utilised their criminal ties and bribed state police officers and even a Federal court judge. I reached out to everyone whom I thought could help us – NGOs, GOs, politicians, media etc. but NO ONE cared. I was even told by prominent news and media journalists in the country that they were too afraid to take on my case and tell my story.
After 2 years of fighting my perpetrator via the “justice / legal system”, I ran out of money. I was well and truly drained. I had used up my entire retirement savings. My perpetrator had family members to assist him financially but I had nobody – no family, no one. He had isolated me from all my friends during the many years he was abusing and torturing me. Desperate, I reached out to Legal Aid (the government-funded legal assistance office) again and they told me that they could not assist me because I owned assets (my house – which was heavily mortgaged, thanks to legal fees – and my old car) and that I was “too educated” (and that I should be “grateful” I had a job, unlike the numerous single unemployed mothers who relied on the system for income). Even my lawyer, who initially agreed to a payment plan for her legal fees, suddenly demanded I pay her a sum of approximately $60,000 one business day before our final trial. I asked her why this was the case and she simply replied, “If you cannot pay this amount, I can’t represent you.” It was a Friday. The trial was set for the following Monday. I paid her half the amount which maxed out my mortgage, but had no way of obtaining the other half. I pleaded with her to allow me to pay the remainder in instalments, as we previously agreed. She refused. As a result, my lawyer did not hesitate to cease representing me that Friday afternoon, leaving me no alternative legal representation at the last minute.
Furthermore, the corrupt Federal Court judge (whom I only recently discovered is a cocaine addict – which explains his link to my perpetrator’s criminal network) overseeing my case at the time displayed his bias and discrimination towards me in several ways:
- He openly stated during our pre-trial hearing that Friday that he felt my affidavits were “like a work of fiction” simply because I was an educated woman who was also an accomplished writer (I had published a book – my memoir – and many professional articles previously) and that I could easily make up stories. He said he did not believe my accounts of horrific abuse I endured at the hands of my perpetrator. He also accused me of “fabricating” the threatening text messages my ex-partner sent me (which I included as evidence and which, at the time, the police refused to act upon – that is a separate issue worthy of another blog post) and of “editing / photo-shopping” the photos of myself with my injuries that my perpetrator had inflicted upon me.
- He refused to organise protection for me in the courthouse and insinuated I was a paranoid woman, ignoring my barrister’s pleas that we were dealing with a criminal family who dealt with firearms and military-grade ammunition, amongst other crimes. Being in Witness Protection, the judge should have made this a priority, but he ignored all conversation regarding this topic.
- He refused the Independent Children’s Lawyer’s (ICL: who represented my child) strong insistence that it was imperative we wait for the police to conclude their criminal investigation against my perpetrator BEFORE we went to trial, seeing this was a very serious case of domestic violence. This Federal Court judge refused this and said the trial would proceed as planned on Monday.
As a result of all these factors, I could not attend court that Monday and, as I later discovered, this particular Federal Court judge issued a warrant for my arrest for not attending court.
And, conveniently, immediately after this was done, I received notification from the state police that they had closed their entire investigation against my perpetrator. This was after 2 years – I had provided many years worth of statements detailing all the abuse and crimes perpetrated by my ex-partner to the police (to the detriment of my mental health and the exacerbation of my PTSD – having to relive all the horrors of torture at the hands of my perpetrator) but they never did anything. Throughout the 2 years, they kept constantly delaying the investigation, giving me excuses like there was always another case that “took priority” over mine. I brought my concerns all the way up to the state police commissioner but this eventually came back to the same corrupt officers and my case went nowhere.
By this stage, my child and I had no choice but to flee our home country. We have been living in exile since and have sought refuge in several countries, and have been moving around the world. It has been many years and we are still running and struggling to find safety, peace and justice.
Thanks to the Hague Convention against child sex trafficking, that blatantly discriminates against parents escaping with their children from domestic violence, we have had to ensure we do not settle in a Hague-country or risk being sent back to our native / home country and have our lives terminated (as have numerous other women / single mothers / victims of domestic violence who have been victims of the weaponisation of the Hague Convention).
I have lived with this injustice for many years and enough is enough. Throughout my journey, I have met many other single parents who are in similar circumstances and it has become clear to me that this systemic injustice and persecution occurs in most countries throughout the world – especially, in particular, the developed, western world. What is most frustrating is that I have contacted numerous NGOs, journalists (international) and even the UN for assistance but none of these organisations / individuals have even bothered to address my correspondence.
And it is this which propels me to start this blog page. It is my hope that all of us parents / victims who are in hiding and living in fear will, for once, unite, stand up and speak out against this atrocious, disgraceful, unspeakable form of “legal” persecution and injustice. Together, we are strong.
Please don’t hesitate to reach out and forward my blog on to anyone whom you feel would benefit.
Thank you for taking the time to share my story and please don’t hesitate to contact me or comment below.
Dr C
One Comment
Can we speak?